Lunatique TokioPlage (トキオプラージュ・ルナティック)
⭐⭐
🇫🇷 French / 📍 Futakotamagawa
📓 Visits: 1 (too many)
The restaurant is split over two levels and I was instructed to go up the outside staircase to the second floor. There was a choice of terrace seating overlooking the Tamagawa or indoor seating. The waitress will take a minute to explain how it works but it's basically a meal ticket system. You buy tickets for items you want from a cash-only vending machine at the entrance. By some process of technical wizardry this will have already dispatched your order and you don't need to present your ticket(s) to the staff. Take yourself some canteen-quality cutlery, pour yourself some water into a plastic cup and wait for the number on your ticket to be called. The pictures on the wall by the vending machine on 1F have English labels but not on 2F where I was. My waitress could not speak English but the other assistant could speak a little.
The food was ready after about 15 minutes. I was basically the only diner at that point but service could not extend to bringing the dish to my table and I had to collect it from the counter. Fine, that's their system. First impressions: the plate is cold, the foie gras looked smaller than in the pictures but there were too thick pieces of steak. I tried to cut into it but it was as tough as old boots and, more alarmingly, raw inside. I guess it was frozen and they hadn't defrosted it properly before cooking. I'd really love to know whether the chef genuinely thought this was cooked before serving it, didn't check or didn't care. A rare fillet steak is a thing of beauty, but this was inedible. So I took it back to the counter from which it came and asked them to cook it a bit more.
The restaurant is the most decrepit I've been in for some time. It's like a beach house but without the sand, the sea and the cool breezes, without the boys in their Speedos and the girls in their bikinis. Persex between tables literally hangs from the ceiling. There's a ramshackle of chairs from the 1970s, past their best back then and which should never have made it out of that decade. If the food had been good I might have minded the decor less.
Space is pretty tight. If you stand up you need to keep your head down so you don't whack it on one of the beams that look like they're made of balsa wood supporting the roof. You wouldn't want to be in here during a big earthquake. There was a moment when the tiny waitress fell back against one of the pillars to move out of my way. Poor girl.
1,500 yen, right, what did I expect? No, nothing spectacular and maybe not even something that good but at least something edible. This is my only recollection of ever sending any food back to the kitchen in Japan. Hard to know how to score this. If the second attempt hadn't been any better it would have been 1.0 (I suppose the 1 is for just getting something on a plate). Not the worst culinary experience I've had in Japan but certainly up there and one I'll never forget. If I went back here I would be the lunatic.
📌 https://tabelog.com/tokyo/A1317/A131708/13026691/
❓ My Rating: ⭐⭐ 2.0 (double points for twice the output from the kitchen)
📱 Booking: If you must.
📍 Location:
1-1-4 Tamagawa. 9 mins walk South-East from Futako-Tamagawa station. Single-tenant 'building'.
Map data ©2021 Google
📅 Visit July 2021
💴 Damage: 1,650 (+ matched donation to the Vegan Society)
⏱️ Time taken: 40m
Looking at the other places you've reviewed, it's no wonder you were disappointed. When I ate there a couple of months ago, it was one part of a Futakotamagawa adventure. Judging from the funky atmosphere, I wasn't expecting much. The next leg of my adventure involved a vineyard where you can pick grapes in August. They also have chickens running around and you can buy eggs. My rule of thumb when trying a new place is "No expect, only hope."
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment! I generally agree with your point. But wherever I go I at least expect something edible!
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